If you find that your social anxiety gets the best of you in specific situations, it’s may help to take some time to examine the problem. One approach is to ask yourself a series of questions to evaluate the threat and the degree of risk. You can also work on anticipating potential problems and the strategies you might use to cope. If you’re truly serious about addressing this problem, it’s best to go through this process well before the anxiety-provoking event, provide answers to these questions in writing, and use specific examples. Here are some sample questions:
What is threatening about these social situations? Do I have any reason to believe that others want me to underperform? What’s the evidence for and against this belief?
- What is threatening about these social situations? Do I have any reason to believe that others want me to underperform? What’s the evidence for and against this belief?
- How likely is it that others will respond with negative feedback, such as criticism or ridicule?
- How do I know this? Have I received direct feedback in the past or am I making assumptions about unclear reactions I get from other people?
- Have I experienced social setbacks before? Was I able to recover? What did I do? What could I do?
- Suppose things don’t go as well as I would like, what’s the worst thing that could happen? What’s the most likely outcome? If I experience a setback, can I recover, learn from the experience, and do better in the future?
- How do I evaluate my own social skills? What do I do well? What can I improve and how should I get started?
After you’ve gone through the process of understanding your own beliefs, correcting cognitive errors, preparing a useful mindset for interacting with others, and making progress toward improving social skills, your concerns about social threats and coping resources are likely to be more realistic.
