Many people want to be in relationships, but majority of those people have no clue what it takes to be in one. Marriage isn’t a fantasy, it takes a lot of work to make it work. With divorce on the rise, it makes having a successful marriage that much harder.To make a marriage successful it takes resisting urges. Its about making decision not to do things that would wreck your relationship or hurt your partner. Its about not calling each other names, being selfish when you should help out, not acknowledging or caring about your partner’s needs, or having an affair.
Many people want to be in relationships, but majority of those people have no clue what it takes to be in one. Marriage isn’t a fantasy, it takes a lot of work to make it work. With divorce on the rise, it makes having a successful marriage that much harder.To make a marriage successful it takes resisting urges. Its about making decision not to do things that would wreck your relationship or hurt your partner. Its about not calling each other names, being selfish when you should help out, not acknowledging or caring about your partner’s needs, or having an affair.
You have to be the right person to find the right person
You need to build your life up before you get into a relationship. Learn what went wrong in your previous relationships and grow from everything that has happened in your life. Discover what patterns and habits have been destructive to the relationships in your life. When one partner is willing to change, the other one will either change or leave.
Develop boundaries
Know what boundaries you are willing to break and what ones you want to keep. What things will you not stand for?: Pot abuse? Drinking? Forgetting to call? Not being financially stable? Not being honest? You have to be able to say, ‘if x happens, I am out of here-without argument.” Be committed to walking away if that person breaks the deal.
Real love communicates in healthy ways
Don’t result to name calling and disrespect. Learn to start your sentences with I feel, or I think to communicate in a healthy way. Stay true to your feelings and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise.
Love requires goals and aspirations, both as a couple and as individuals
As a couple you need to agree on a future together. Together you support and help fulfill those dreams and goals . Discuss these goals early so you can ensure you are on the same page.
Learn to discriminate in all of your relationships
This includes family, friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. Learn to make choices and not just let friendships and professional relationships ‘happen.’ Don’t spend time with family just because they’re family. Choose to only have those in your life who are loving, respectful, honest, and open, and who care about you.
Stop being a victim
Learn that you do have control over what happens to you. Don’t make justifications that keep you stuck and ‘victimized.’ Take charge of yourself and what happens to you day in and day out.
Live with purpose
Reflect on everyday. Take some quiet time, without interruption, to think about your life. Reflect on what you can do better tomorrow and learn from the mistakes you made today. This is about having your head where your feet are, not worrying about social media and what others are doing. Look around, and see what’s going on where you are at this very minute. Learn to be discipline and control your urges. Spend less time on your phone, be aware of unhealthy choices you make, etc. Spend some time each day thinking about your impulses and mindless behaviors.
Know that real love does not hurt
In a healthy relationship misunderstandings and disappointments should not be a regular happening. Real love may not always be easy,but it should be consistent. Real love is what helps you deal with the curves that life throws at you, not what makes things more difficult.
